Take heart young ladies

Several young ladies have told me they are in love with William the Third from The von Strassenberg Saga. They wish they could find a man like him.
They doubt he really exists.
Take heart.
Somewhere he does exist.
William the Third wasn't just pulled out of my imagination, he was subconsciously modeled after my husband.
Like a lot of things with the saga it wasn't something I intended to do.


When my husband and I started kind of dating again he was drinking, smoking, cussing...typical construction worker behavior. I say that because, at the time, he was working in home construction.
I, on the other hand, was on fire for Jesus, a Bible thumper walkin' the walk and talkin' the talk.
We fortunately had a mutual agreement: I would not try to change him and he would not try to change me. He would put up with my God-speak and I would put up with his construction workerness.
Even during that time, out of respect for me, he acted the gentleman and would not cuss or be crude around me.
And even though we were both divorced and I was the single mom of three kids, we withheld from certain activities until our wedding night. This was never something I had to argue with him about. He was actually the one who brought it up, "I don't want to do anything to interfere with your relationship with your God." And he didn't. And he wouldn't let me. Lol.
Just this week he was offered a big promotion at his place of work (he's now a chef). When he started there in June of this year he negotiated to have Sundays off (because you see, my husband did accept Christ and without any preaching from me). This promotion to sous chef would involve Sundays and he would have to go back to nights. Meaning: he would rarely have time with the our boys.
He turned the promotion down.
In his words, "I took this job with the stipulation that I would have Sundays off. I'm not going to waffle on that just because I'm offered a promotion. And I just got my time with my family back, I'm not giving that up."
I tell you this not to just toot my own horn but to let you know that there are men like that out there. 
You just have to be patient and trusting. 
And patient. 
I went through a lot of heartache for many years because I was impatient.
And I didn't trust.
Two points I am still working on. 


All that being said, I never intended to incorporate any Christian elements into The von Strassenberg Saga. All I wanted to do was write something other than another bandwagon book because readers deserve more than the overabundance of recycled plots that are out there. It wasn't until nearly the end of Filter that William III revealed to me that he is a Christian. I actually fought him on this point because I didn't want to write an ambush book. 
That's what some non-Christian readers call books wherein the author sneaks in Christian theology. 
But then I got to thinking about it. 
I am a Christian. 
And I write to you out of my own experience.
And most Christians are misrepresented in fiction. Even Christian fiction. We are often portrayed as two dimensional and overly sentimental. Fluffy characters. The requirements for a book to be considered as "Christian fiction" only perpetuate this. And, let me tell you, going by Harlequin's Love Inspired Romance guidelines, Filter is too racy. Yup. 
This is why I am reluctant to list The von Strassenberg Saga as Christian fiction. It is dark and riddled with sinful behavior and it isn't all tied up with a pretty bow at the end. God doesn't always deal in happy endings. But He does always work things out....eventually. 
The other reason that I do not list the saga as Christian fiction is that it is not written to teach or preach. William is a character who happens to be a Christian. It is unrealistic to assume that everyone walking around in a story is an atheist or agnostic. It is unrealistic to pretend as though religion is not a factor in the lives of some of the people around you. At least William is written honestly, with all his flaws (you'll see more of that in Bluestocking). He doesn't always do the right thing. He doesn't always think the right thing. He struggles just as any Christian struggles. 
Just like my husband. Who is a real man. Not a two dimensional cut out.
So take heart ladies, men like William III do exist.
I promise you. 

They Do Grow Up

My youngest son has a loose tooth. At first I started to protest, "He's too young!" And then my oldest (10 1/2) reminded me that he was the same age when he lost his first tooth. I have never been the type of mother to cry over milestones. It makes me proud to watch my sons grow and it is the most exciting thing to me, not only as a mother, but as a human. Each life has locked within it so much potential and mystery. That is the fun of raising children, watching them become whoever they will be. It is most likely the idea that I am done with early childhood milestones that is causing me this grief. It is a position I am not ready to be in. 
You see I always wanted a large family. I am the youngest of four. Not a particularly large family, but my extended family was always nearby. There were ten of us cousins growing. I loved the chaos of it all, the huge meals, the endless row of beach towels on the clothes line in the summer. This romantic notion of large families is also probably due to my father's cousin's large brood. She lived twenty minutes away in an old, rambling brick home with a wide porch and dogs sleeping on the lawn. There were children everywhere. Biological, foster, adopted. As a child I would go home and draw not selfishly imagined mansions, but homes big enough to welcome all the adopted children in the world. Or, so my small 8 year old mind assumed. 
When we got to the point of seriously considering marriage I asked (both my husbands) if they would consider adopting, if they would like a large family. It was a requirement of mine. 
But here I am. 32 and living in my parents' home with my three children from my first marriage and my husband. Although he doesn't really count because he works so much. :) The plan is to eventually buy their property and build our own house back in the woods. This is what my mother wants. She knows without our presence she will have to move into town eventually. But she's quite comfortable where she is, thank you very much. My husband has no children of his own and would like to have a few, when we can afford it. In about 50 years. 
And then there is that ever-present yearning that won't go away, to give homes and hope and love to those without. This is, of course, at odds with my dream of traveling around the world and living like a hermit. But that seems a very selfish dream when you consider that a child could have a home and a family. I pray almost daily that God would see fit to let my books be widely successful. Not so I can buy a Jaguar (tho I wouldn't mind a reliable car) or a fancy schmancy home, but so I can afford to build a home here, where I can take care of my mother. So I can afford to build a home large enough for our children and several more who would become ours. It breaks my heart, the waiting. It tears me to pieces to think it may never come to fruition. My children don't have much in the way of material things or weekends and vacays spent at expensive hotels or amusement parks, but they have full and vibrant lives and I ache to share that with those who would otherwise never experience that. 
Sorry, I ramble. But the older I get the more it gnaws at me. And I just wanted to share it. 

Writing YA Christian lit or Not.

I did not grow up in a Christian home. My parents weren't druggies or alcoholics or abusive. We were just a typical lower middle class family struggling to make it work. My mother stayed at home with us until I was in first or second grade. She then took a job with a maid service. For the first time my sisters and I were given an allowance. As the youngest, I was paid the least for my labor which included dusting and vacuuming. It was $5. And it was enough. A new bookstore had opened in the recently developed strip mall across the street that ran behind our home. The bookstore was the only thing that made the destruction of the farmland acceptable in my mind. I was maybe 8 or 9 at the beginning. Each Friday I would take my $5 and walk to the bookstore. Back then $5 was just enough to buy two paperbacks. This was when I fell in love with Lois Duncan and Christopher Pike. No, there were no Sweet Valley High books for me. My friends were all reading them, but not me, never a one. I was a Nancy Drew girl, a mystery and thriller girl. When I was 10 I discovered what I consider to be the original Twilight series, The Vampire Diaries, LJ Smith. And by the way, the WB series does the book series a great injustice. I read all of Duncan and Smith and Pike and usually read book more than once. When I became a Christian at the age of 15 I was reading Dean Koontz and my Bible and occasionally Stephen King. Seem like a conflict of interest? Indeed. But what else was I supposed to read? Christian fiction at the time left much to be desired. It was poorly written and cheesy to say the least. Recently when I started writing my own YA novel I struggled with this. I wanted to write something Christian parents would approve of and Christian and non-Christian terms would enjoy. Oh but we have Twilight, you say. Um no. While Edward insisting on waiting until marriage to have sex is great and my favorite thing about the entire series, it doesn't override the fact that Bella's entire existence, she thought, hinged on Edward. That's stupid. And unhealthy. While most of my characters are not Christians, they struggle with their morals and with the morals of their Christian friends. But that isn't the focus of the story. It is a thriller after all. And honestly I didn't write it with any moral in mind. My goal was to write a romantic thriller for teens that didn't involve vampires or zombies or werewolves or this ridiculous notion that a girl's life should revolve around a boy. Injecting my Christian faith into the story was tricky. I didn't want to lay it on too thick but I didn't want to ignore it. I'm the end I think a happy balance was found but you would have to be the judge of that. Look for my ebooks Filter at amazon.com or smashwords.com.

Mamas Raise Your Boys Right

Before ever having children I told my fiance I hoped to have several boys and we would raise them to be gentlemen cowboys. Men who are rough and know how to fix things and who also know how to properly treat a woman. The man who entered the library before me this morning, clearly knew I was behind him and didn't bother to stand aside and hold the door for me. Do I think I'm a princess? Absolutely not. But I do believe in kindness and humility. My mama raised me and my siblings right. We hold doors for anyone, puck up something someone has dropped, stop and ask if someone needs help if they seem to be lost or hurting. How did she teach us these things? She modeled them. And though I do these things now, my sons seem completely oblivious. Maybe they are too young, all being ten and younger. Maybe like most of society they are too caught up in their own lives to notice there are people all around them just trying to get by, just like they are. Whatever the reasoning is, I constantly remind them, "hold the door for your mother," and we pray each night they will help when given the opportunity. Why do I want so badly to raise good strong men? Because I've been hurt too many times by men who were not raised well. And my children have suffered some of that as well. Though we can't always blame it on the parents, I know. I know men who have had wonderfully loving but strict parents with good morals and yet their sons grew up to be selfish oats. And vice versa. the only thing we can do as parents is lead by example and pray it soak in, eventually!

The Book of Eli

I am much too tired to wax biblical for too long tonight.
But there is an amazing thing going on in Hollywood and the world of entertainment. The Blind Side and the Book of Eli are evidence of that. So many huge names and they're making Christian movies. As rough and base as the Book of Eli is, it is a Christian film. You see, the thing about Christian films is we don't know how to do grit. We don't do violence and sin, there's always a coating of sugar over our greatest efforts. Why? Because we feel it's wrong. Even in One Night With the King Esther wasn't performing the usual duties one in her position would be expected to perform. No. All she did was read. In Fireproof, there we didn't see the ugliest side of adultery. As true to life as it was....it was still candy-coated. But Hollywood knows how to do the gritty, nasty, truth of sin and they aren't ashamed to do it.
So many people complain about the secular studios and publishing companies churning out Christian fare, well, hello.....somebody's gotta do. Christian movies have certainly come along, technically, but even if we have fancy HD cameras and green screens and effects we're usually dealing with poor scripting or directing or (heaven help me) acting. Why is that? Might I ask? If we are God's children, we is our work inferior? It shouldn't be. But we shrugged it off (all the while watching things we ought not) and let the unbelievers take charge, because how important could it be?
It is so important that it is shaping our society. What our children see is what they spin. And maybe you guard what your children watch and you homeschool and you're careful about who they make friends with.....but eventually they have to step outside and when they do they will be unprepared for the world of sin just outside their door. A world of sin that we stood by and allowed to be created, that we helped create by our own choices...when we went to the theater and bought magazines and purchased books and bought DVDs and chose certain shows when we thought no one was looking.
It's that important.
And now we're trying to play catch up.
But God is doing an amazing thing, even if Hollywood doesn't understand it.
How many times in the Bible does God use the heathen nations for the sake of the Jews? The Chaldeans, the Egyptians, all of the "ites" He moved them for the sake of His children. And he's doing it today. He's meeting the unbelievers where they're at, planting seeds in ways we wouldn't imagine because we're so stuck in our good, clean mindsets (which yes, is a good thing, but not when making films to witness).
People who would never watch a Christian film will sit down and watch The Blind Side or The Book of Eli (I know because I sat with my father to watch it.).
I hope I'm making sense, so tired.
It was a dark and beautiful and shocking film. It was rich in texture and color and beauty in the darkness.  The directing was spot on. The acting was phenomenal.
You may disagree, but I believe God's hand was on that film. If you doubt me...open your Bible, it isn't without violence and grit.
I will probably have to buy the movie.
It really convicted me of....my lack of conviction. It humbled me.
LORD forgive me for not cherishing your WORD as it deserves, for it is holy and true.
To bed now.