Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts

Thursday, September 15, 2011

A Circular Life: Back to School with the YA Indie Carnival

My biggest back-to-school moment came at the age of 27.
Not what you would typically have in mind for such a moment, but there it is.
I hadn't been in school since I withdrew from classes in 2000. At that time I was married and we were expecting our first son. Images of being some kind of modern day wonder woman, juggling classes, work and baby, filled my brain...which must have been stuffed with cotton. Because really. I was not that woman. Not at that point. Unfortunately, the pregnancy started showing danger signs. The doctor, who was a bit of a cotton head himself, said I needed to quit either work or school because both was too much on my body. Well, school doesn't pay the bills so I withdrew from classes.
In 2005 it became obvious that I would need to return to school in order to provide a better life for myself and my sons. Their father had walked out earlier in the year. I was pregnant with our third son.
Ironically I was right back in the position I had withdrawn from in 2000, except this time I was plus three children and minus one husband. In January I signed up for a few classes at the local community college, just enough to qualify for aid and not go crazy with the transition back to school.
It was probably one of the hardest things I'd ever done.
At the time social anxiety and depression had me in their grips. I sat outside in my car, crying in terror at the idea of going into a classroom, but it had to be done. For the boys it had to be done. My sons, who were 5 1/2, 3, and 3 months were at home with Grandma. My mother, who also quit college to take care of a baby, was working at WalMart. I had worked at WalMart. I knew it wouldn't be enough to give the boys the life I wanted them to have. It was the only thing that propelled me through those doors that day.
It took awhile for me to calm down and realize no one gave one hoot about me being there. It took even longer for me to realize that I had a lot to contribute to the classes I was in. But slowly, month after month, I grew in strength and confidence and became that wonder woman juggling job and school and babies.
It took a lot of help from my family and church but together we made it through. I think the struggles of learning to coordinate a life with so many components trained me for being a producer/director in the video realm. When I moved on to a four-year university, I showed a strong natural skill for getting groups of people to work together to achieve a common goal.
Also, I should point out, three years after their dad left, the fiance I walked out on (teenage girls can do stupid things) in high school came back into my life. We got married in 2008. Both of us finished up our degrees and we're trying to keep our sanity while raising these boys and working at our dream jobs.


For More Back to School Stories at The YA Indie Carnival Check out:
http://www.refractedlightreviews.com
http://pattilarsen.blogspot.com
http://courtneycolewrites.wordpress.com
http://nicoleawilliams.blogspot.com
http://fisheramelie.com/blog/
http://laurasmagicday.wordpress.com
http://amyjonesyaff.blogspot.com
http://rachelcoles.wordpress.com/
http://thewarriorseries.blogspot.com
http://pjhoover.blogspot.com
http://www.aliciamccalla.com
http://heathercashman.com/better_off_read
http://www.abbiglines.com
http://cherischmidt.blogspot.com
http://www.lexusluke.com
http://www.suzyturner.com/
http://kasi-kcblake.blogspot.com/
http://kimberlykinrade.com
http://jlbryanbooks.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Creeping Edge of a Writer's Insanity

It would have been best if the characters now prowling impatiently in my head had lain dormant for four more months.
School has become nothing more than a nuisance.
There is research to do, both to be read and to be seen first hand.
There are books to be read.
There is writing to be done.
Unfortunately there are also masses upon masses of homework to be completed.
To be responsible and not let down the people who are counting on me for various things I must ignore the desperation to bury myself in my cave and tend to my muse.
If you are a spiritual person, you could compare my quenching of my muse to the quenching of the Holy Spirit. You know when the Spirit is speaking to you and you have to shut a certain part of yourself down to choose against Him. It's a lot like that, only not holy and not nearly as important.
Even now, I shouldn't be blogging but reading about Dan Rather's lawsuit.
This is what drove me to insanity at Truman.
There was no time to read, no time to write, no lazy hours spent in the concentration that others would mistake for idle daydreaming.
Ah well, off to the practical world where the figments of my imagination have no voice.