Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Deviant in Stinky Jeans

Normally fashion reviews are not my forte.
I have gained so much weight and feel so drab in my sparse wardrobe that I would really rather avoid the topic of fashion.
But this, this must be given voice.
Has anyone else noticed that certain stretch jeans are stinky?
Are they using hemp?
Last year I bought a pair of Mix It jeans from Penney's. Upon their first showing I noticed there was an odd smell and immediately began to feel self-conscious. They were going to get chucked that evening but were pardoned in the hopes that a few more washings would have them smelling normally.
No such thing happened.
A year has gone by and lack of physical exercise has led to an increase in waist size so I bought a new pair of jeans last week.
I even washed them before wearing them the next morning.
But as I sat in the car, driving the boys to school, that unfortunate smell of stretch jeans (these by a.n.a also from Penney's), hit my nose.
At school, just to make sure I wasn't being crazy, a good friend was enlisted to sniff my jeans close to the ankle. She was all agreement.
"Well, maybe a few more washings," I said.
I am currently wearing said jeans, which are cute and comfortable and stinky.
It occurs to me that perhaps they have hemp because in high school I had a shirt made with hemp and any time my body temp rose, I could smell my shirt. It smelled a lot like my jeans. Unfavorable.
So, my plan is to go to Old Navy and buy some 100% cotton jeans that do not stink. This is also unfavorable because shopping at Old Navy makes me feel fatter than I am. While I am a 10 at Penney's I will likely be an 18 at Old Navy, with luck.
I'm praying this summer will bring back my size 6's and maybe even my 4's. Oh the horror one year can wreak on your body.
That's what I get for marrying a chef.
Most likely it's just because I'm happy and content and so tightly wound as I was before he came back into my life.
But anyway, if you smell something, it's probably my jeans.

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