I am in a moment of Self-pity whispering to me that this blog is stupid and no one's reading and I'm just embarrassing myself and wasting precious time.
These are the days we must be certain to write.
We cannot give in to the anti-muse.
Perhaps this blog is indeed stupid and no one gives it a second chance, but it lets my soul breathe. We are writers.
We must write.
If we don't we deny ourselves of who we truly are.
This may seem random, but my husband is a chef. He thinks about food all the time. Not just eating it, but creating it. It's a joy to watch him in the kitchen with all his passion oozing out of him. It's a beautiful thing, to watch the creator create.
And maybe we can't eat our creations, but they do sustain us.
And just like with cooking and eating, sometimes our creations, our words, can give us groaning in our inward places.
I am so happy that my husband is a creative person. A different kind of creative person. He understands that even though the laundry is piling up and our youngest smells kind of off and could use a bath and I still haven't done my homework, there are times when I must write or edit a video or something. My spirit gets anxious and I start to get cranky if I don't give voice to my passions. He is so good to me. Of course, he can't talk when he comes home at 11 pm and starts cooking up some beef tenderloin with blackberry wine and onions.
This is why I've gained weight.
So, even when you are certain your work is crap, write anyway.
It may very well be crap, but if you don't write, you won't improve.
And most importantly, if you don't write, you will self-destruct.